Friday 19th April 2024,
The Hoop Doctors

The NBA’s All-Soft First Team

December 16, 2010 – Kevin Burke

I have an undeniable appreciation for all things sports, but to me there’s nothing more beautiful to watch than the game of basketball, especially when it’s played well. Everything about the game is truly a joy to witness. Having said that, there is one thing that I absolutely cannot stand when it comes to basketball: Soft players. This isn’t necessarily intended to launch disrespect at anyone in the league, because these guys are all professionals who have mastered their craft enough to the point where they have earned the right to cash these exorbitant paychecks for simply playing a game. More power to them. But watching someone get  bullied on the court, or someone who is constantly doing anything that resembles the opposite of toughness is enough to make Dr. James Naismith do a 360.

Soft can mean excessive flopping, getting pushed around often, playing smaller than your size, or anything of the like. In the NBA, there are certainly guys who have established themselves as enforcers by being intimidating, but unfortunately you have the opposite as well. Here is my All-Soft First team in the NBA today.

Chris Bosh

I said it years ago, and I’ll surely say it now that he’s in Miami: you’ll never convince me that Bosh is as valuable as advertised. You just won’t. And a max player? Sorry, I don’t see it.  Never will. Sure, in Toronto he posted a few 20 and 10 campaigns, but consider who played alongside him.  Bosh is a 6’10” guy who has absolutely no desire to play in the paint. He would much rather face up from 10 to 15 feet away and beat his man off the dribble. Not that there’s anything wrong with that if you do that occasionally, but he does it way too often. He isn’t mean enough. In Miami, this team has proven to be extremely vulnerable down low, to the point where they had to dust off Erick Dampier. I’m sorry but if you have a 6’10”, $100M man on your roster, you shouldn’t have to hit up the scrap heap for big bodies. How does that make any sense? Now that he’s in Miami, people are finally singing the tune I’ve been humming for years when it comes to Bosh.

Dirk Nowitzki

Dirk is the second most uniquely gifted player the NBA has ever seen (there’s a guy playing in Turkey who holds that distinction). A guy of his size shouldn’t be able to do what he can with the rock, nor should he posses the outside touch that he has. And he shouldn’t be as soft as he is either. The knock on European players that come over to the league is that they’re soft. I didn’t make that up, and yes that is an unfair generalization. But unfortunately it’s true and Dirk is the poster child. Dirk routinely gets bullied by guys who are significantly shorter than he is and it sometimes looks comical to watch. He winds up on the ground way too much for someone who is nearly 7’0″. When the #1 seeded Mavericks, led by MVP Dirk Nowitzki, took on the #8 seed Golden State Warriors in the 2007 NBA playoffs where the Mavs were sent home, Stephen Jackson owned Dirk physically and when they stand side by side, Jackson reaches Dirk’s shoulders. I even think Jackson got into Dirk’s head with his physical play because as that series wore on, it didn’t even look like Dirk wanted the ball any more.

Aside from that, am I the only one who finds it odd that Dirk fades away on all of his shots? The man even fades on free throws. Almost as if he’s even shying away from contact at the stripe.

Yao Ming

I need you to close your eyes (after you’re done reading this, of course) and think back a handful of years to when Yao played regularly. Both he and Shaq were the two best Centers in the league. But yes, even at 7’6″ Yao played soft. He would get bullied off the block too often and guys sometimes looked like they were able to do whatever they wanted. What really got me about Yao was in a game several years ago in New York, former Knick, 5’7″ Nate Robinson came from the weak side to block Yao’s jumpshot so hard that Yao actually fell to the hardwood. Case closed.

Paul Pierce

Pierce is an excellent player and he proved it last night with his game winner against the Knicks. Long before Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett arrived in Boston and all eyes became fixed on the Celtics, I felt that Paul Pierce was an underrated player. Then the two aforementioned teammates arrived and everyone starting saying the same thing. For a while now, he’s been one of the 10 best offensive perimeter threats in the league. Contrary to what many think, yes he’s a sure fire Hall of Famer and yes, he is a top 5 Celtic of all-time. Both of those claims are inarguable. But I simply cannot stomach his flopping, crying (by the way, he is hands down the owner of the worst “I can’t believe you’re not gonna call a foul” face, in the entire league) and affinity for acting like he was just shot at point blank range when he gets fouled. Who can forget how he was carried off the court during the Finals a few years ago to the point where I thought the man’s life was in danger? Only to see him gallop back to the court about 10 minutes later. He reacted similarly last year in the opening round against the Heat when he was fouled in a play that ultimately led to KG getting suspended for elbowing Q Richardson. Pierce was fine. Enough already.

Anderson Verajao

Where should I even begin with him? I’m not sure what his purpose in life is. If you look up flop in the dictionary, there’s a picture of him on the ground complaining to the ref about not getting that charge call. Aside from the flopping, he gets pushed around quite a bit too and I’d like to see video evidence of him ever stepping foot in a weight room.

If you’re looking for your everyday, predictable basketball talk, then go somewhere else, because Kevin Burke of The Kevin Burke Project brings provocative, thought provoking content about basketball as only he can. Kevin also hosts The Hoop Doctors weekly podcast show, which you can subscribe to for free on iTunes. Follow Kevin on Twitter and Facebook

Like this Article? Share it!