When a broken nose forces Kobe Bryant to wear a protective face-mask — made most famous by Rip Hamilton in recent years — he doesn’t just slap on any old face-mask. Bryant, like he does with the game of basketball as he gets older and wiser on the floor, attempts to solve the problem of the mask. Although his transparent one is custom-fitted to Bryant’s face, there was still the problem of comfort (or lack thereof), which lead to his nasty comments about drinking his own sweat last week.
Apparently, the next attempt in conquering the mask-wear game came last night in Detroit, when Bryant went on the court with a black mask that is Internet meme-ready, and even possibly a Freakazoid homage (pic of Freakazoid below…probably not that though).
It appears to the untrained eye that the black mask was fitted with larger viewing holes, to perhaps prevent some of that rainforest-on-your-face feel that Bryant was experiencing, but the new look only got a half’s worth of a trial run. After poor shooting in the first two quarters, Bryant came back from halftime with a transparent mask, made a game-tying shot to force overtime (though the Pistons still won in the end) and just like that, our masked vigilante hero was gone, probably, sadly, forever.
The black mask was just so Kobe though. Ridiculous as he likely knew he looked — and come on, he had to know — Bryant is past the point in his career where he gives a damn about aesthetics like that. If it were medically proven to Bryant that he’d get some of that spring back, and maybe better avoid injury, in a full banana suit, we shouldn’t doubt that he would consider that as well. Bryant’s unstoppable drive to win at everything means that anything other than the final result doesn’t matter. Maybe the black mask wasn’t the answer for his comfort issues, but it’s hilarious look certainly didn’t stop Bryant from trying.
In fact, had he gone off for 35 or 40 as the NBA’s Zorro, maybe we’d be looking at this whole thing differently, with a sense of fear for the rest of the league. Because as Bryant always wants to be seen as the baddest man on the court, the black mask would have certainly completed the villainous look that he so relishes in, especially on the road.
It was, in the end, the mask that Bryant deserved, but not the one he needed right now.
Griffin Gotta contributes to The Hoop Doctors and is a co-managing editor of Straight Outta Vancouver. The story arcs and infinite weirdness of the NBA are addictions he deals with every day. Email him at griffingotta at gmail dot com.
