More than a month into the 2015-16 NBA regular season, everything is just as we thought it would be.
LOL, jk.
Much about the league’s landscape does make sense. The Warriors are godlike. The Spurs are right behind them. No one in the Eastern Conference can touch the Cavaliers.
Not much else makes sense, though.
The Clippers, Rockets and Wizards are struggling, while the Pacers and Hornets are threatening to take over the world. The Magic are inching toward the East’s playoff bubble, while the Bucks continue to accidentally tank. The Timberwolves are flirting with Western Conference playoff contention, while the Pelicans drift further and further into the abyss.
Weird things are happening in the Association, and we’re here to cope the only way we know how: by power ranking the chaos.
***For a week by week list of all our NBA Power Rankings this season, please visit this page.
NBA Power Rankings
1
Golden State Warriors
Because, you know, who else?
Last Week (1)
2
San Antonio Spurs
The Spurs offense really needs to get its shit together. At the same time, the defense is so scary, maybe it doesn’t.
Last Week (2)
3
Cleveland Cavaliers
If the Cavaliers could just start games a little bit better, they’d be absolutely, positively scary. Right now, they’re just really good.
Last Week (3)
4
Oklahoma City Thunder
Isolation basketball has been good enough for the Thunder thus far. But it wasn’t good enough to beat the Hawks on Monday night, and it won’t be good enough long term.
Last Week (5)
5
Indiana Pacers
Holy “Paul George is an MVP candidate” and “C.J. Miles” is on a top-five contract.
Last Week (13)
6
Atlanta Hawks
Consider this a benefit of the doubt pick. A gutsy win over OKC doesn’t change the fact that both Atlanta’s offense and defense have been mildly disappointing.
Last Week (6)
7
Chicago Bulls
Less Derrick Rose and dual-big lineups please. OK? Thanks.
Last Week (10)
8
Miami Heat
Life needs to be injected into the Heat’s offense—like yesterday.
Last Week (4)
9
Boston Celtics
Most of the numbers say the Celtics should be better. But they’re still hovering around .500 as head coach Brad Stevens continuously tinkers with the rotation and the offense sputters beyond silver linings.
Last Week (8)
10
Utah Jazz
Once the Jazz start playing with some semblance of watchability on the offensive end, they’ll be great. For now, they’re just good.
Last Week (11)
11
Toronto Raptors
Kyle Lowry: still a beast.
Last Week (13)
12
Charlotte Hornets
Almost one-quarter of the way through the season, Hornets have a top-five offense—just like none of us predicted.
Last Week (16)
13
Dallas Mavericks
The Mavericks’ schedule figures to catch up with them at some point. In the meantime, they’re capitalizing on the baffling batch of chaos that is the Western Conference.
Last Week (9)
14
Los Angeles Clippers
Should we just declare the Clippers pretenders now or nah?
Last Week (17)
15
Memphis Grizzlies
Despite having a lower net rating than the Knicks, and an offense that sucks something awful, the Grizzlies are above .500. Life doesn’t make sense.
Last Week (15)
16
Orlando Magic
Scott Skiles is placing stock in analytics. Color me impressed.
Last Week (22)
17
Phoenix Suns
Jeff Hornacek’s liberal use of Jon Leuer bizarre. His ridiculous three-point success rate makes it less bizarre, but it’s still freaking bizarre.
Last Week (12)
18
Minnesota Timberwolves
Karl-Anthony Towns #AllStarBallot
Last Week (21)
19
Detroit Pistons
Mah, oh man, the Pistons’ offense is baaaaaaaad.
Last Week (17)
20
New York Knicks
One of these days, or months, or years, Derek Fisher’s rotations are going to make sense.
Last Week (18)
21
Washington Wizards
Is Kevin Durant impressed yet?*
*LOLOLOLOL no
Last Week (19)
22
Portland Trail Blazers
Mason Plumlee fever is going around.
Last Week (26)
23
Houston Rockets
Every time you think the Rockets turn a corner, they crash into a wall.
Last Week (25)
24
Sacramento Kings
Rajon Rondo’s individual stats look fun and all, but the Kings are better on both ends of floor without him, according to NBA.com. So, yeah…
Last Week (23)
25
Milwaukee Bucks
#TradeGregMonroe
#OnceHeIsAllowedToBeTraded
#WhichIsOnDecember15
Last Week (20)
26
Denver Nuggets
Things have taken a stark turn in Denver. Can’t help but think the Nuggets are better off dumping Kenneth Faried and going all in on the pursuit of Ben Simmons.
Last Week (24)
27
Brooklyn Nets
“Hey, it could be much worse for the Nets.” -People who don’t realize that no, it can’t get much worse for the Nets.
Last Week (29)
28
New Orleans Pelicans
How long until the Pelicans bubble wrap Anthony Davis and just tank?
Last Week (28)
29
Los Angeles Lakers
Goodbye, Kobe Bryant. Hello, top-three-protected pick that probably won’t be headed to Philly this summer.
Last Week (27)
30
Philadelphia 76ers
Bold prediction: The Sixers will actually win a game this season.