Summer Contest: Win an Autographed Chris Paul Jersey!
Any Chris Paul Fans in the House? Of course there are, right? CP3 is the best point guard in the game. The Hoop Doctors and Right Guard present the End of Summer 2009 Create-a-Caption Contest, where the winner receives an Authentic Autographed Chris Paul Away Jersey!
First off, The Hoop Doctors want to give a special thanks to Right Guard and Chris Paul for sponsoring the prize for this contest. Right Guard is also running a contest of their own right now where you can enter to win a trip for you and two of your friends to go play ball with Chris Paul himself. If you haven’t already entered that contest, don’t be foolish, get in on that one now because its only open for entry until August 30th. Check out the Right Guard Facebook Page for more details.
Back to our contest for the autographed CP3 jersey. We are gonna roll with another Create-a-Caption contest because they are tons of fun! Like all of The Hoop Doctor’s contests, they are free to enter and winning is easy! Just follow these two easy steps to enter:
1. If you haven’t already done so subscribe to our RSS Feed by either using the button on the top right of our website titled ‘news feed’ or subscribing by email using the email subscription box on the right sidebar titled “ENews & Updates”. All entrants must subscribe to our feed to be eligible to win. Not sure what RSS is? Check out our RSS help page here.(Do not forget to do this simple step, as in many of our previous contests there were a number of great caption entries from people who did not complete this, and they were therefore deemed ineligible for the prize!)
2. View this picture below and let us know what you think a funny caption would be. Use your imagination!! You can either submit your idea for a caption as a comment to this post, or you can email your funny caption to (admin@thehoopdoctors.com). If submitting a comment below, be sure to enter a valid email address that we can reach you at, so we can notify the winner and coordinate prize delivery at the conclusion of the contest. Enter now, don’t wait!
Alright folks, there is only 4 days to enter the contest. So leave your funny caption below. The contest deadline is Friday, August 28, 2009. Check The Hoop Doctors website on Monday, August 31, 2009 for our winner’s announcement.
By entering the sweepstakes you agree to release Sponsor, the NBA Entities, The Hoop Doctors and their respective affiliates and agencies from any and all liabilities for injuries, damages or losses of any kind to in connection with the sweepstakes, prize or any prize-related activity
“When the NBA told Chris Paul that he’d be going to China to ’school kids’, this wasn’t exactly what he envisaged…”
CP3: I can’t believe that they are re-making The Karate Kid either!
[...] Win a Signed Chris Paul Jersey The Hoop Doctors [...]
“Look, if one more m*therf*cker asks me about Julius Hodge’s nuts, you’re gonna get punched too.”
“42 Asians, and I’m still not the tallest person in the room. Sunuvabitch.”
[...] don’t have one, unfortunately, but I ask on behalf of our friends at The Hoop Doctors and Hoops Addict — two great NBA sites — who are both currently running online contests [...]
Paul gets as much support with this cast as with the Hornets.
Atlanta would draft everyone in this class before Paul.
Today’s phrase is “Luxury Tax” as in “We just lost our starting shooting guard to pay less luxury tax.”
Meeting Team Jordan’s Chris Paul was a big surprise for the employees at the Nike factory.
And it was right then, when the first camera clicked, that Chris Paul realized that he had probably gotten onto the wrong plane, the night before.
Kids I told your teachers, I am not Chris Rock! ….Anyone wanna play some ball?
“There is no way these can all be my children!”
CP3: Wait a second.. i was told I was coming here to speak to some chinese orphans. What’s that lady doing in the back row??
Reporter: Yes, we said chinese orphans, she just hasn’t been adopted for quite awhile..
“It’s going to take a lot of hard work to get to the NBA … unless you grow to almost 8 feet tall.”
“No no, it’s CHRIS Paul, not Kobe Bryant. And NOT Ron Artest.”
CP (thinking to himself): “I can’t believe owner George Shinn is so cheap that he has me doing the team’s scouting as well. Times are tough, but gotta buckle down and find the next Yao Ming!”
Little girl in front row: Ni Hao Ma? (how are you?)
CP3:.. ni… ma hao.. (you’re mom is good)
*Little girl turns around in horror as all the adults laugh and CP3 stands there with awkward smile*
Chris Paul thinks to himself, “I wonder if outsourcing applies to the NBA, how much do I have to pay these kids to take over Rasual’s role”
CP3: “…Wo Shi Yi Ge Mei Guo Ren.”
“Man, these kids are gonna be taller than me by the time they hit puberty.”
CP3 thinking “Damn can these people see me it seems like there eyes are closed.”
New Orlean’s Hornets star Chris Paul was all smiles and giggles when he met the newly assembled Chinese Olympic team for the first time. After being inspired by Chris Pauls small size but dazzling speed, athletic ability and amazing ballhandling in the Olympics, the chinese government quickly decided to revamp the rooster in preparation for the upcoming Olympics. Team manager (To the left of CP) told Paul in confidence that they cut anyone who grows past 6 feet.
Chris Paul reacts thankfull when being introduced to an upgraded 2009-2010 Hornets team.
AP reports: Chris Paul out in China to find a co-star in the upcoming summer sequel Rush Hour 4.
Bridging the gap between Chinese and American humor, Chris Paul drew huge laughter after enthusiastically saying “The Hornets will win 70 games this year!”
“Say cheese…. errr Chineeese.”
Cp3 on his international scouting search for his next ally-oop catching center: CP3-”So, how many of you have parents that were genetically engineered like Yao’s? I’m looking for the new model with biotic legs…”
Chris Paul stares at the empty chair in the middle thinking, “Man..How did they know I failed my Algebra I class in college..OMG! LOOK at the empty seat in the back!! That must be for Derrick Rose!!”
It was then that Chris Paul realized learning the martial arts move Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique, popularized by the movie “Kill Bill”, was not nearly as exclusive as it once was perceived. The martial arts students thought that their new classmate would be NBA champion Sun Yue.
Chris Paul: So which one here is related to Yao Ming?
With their number one draft pick, The Young Dragons hope Chris Paul will lead their 5th grade team to the championship.
what chris is thinking “What are these guys saying??’
CP3 thinks: What’s up with the 2 empty seats, I can’t sell out this place? Starts to sweat, but he’s using Right Guard – so he’s protected.
‘Guy facing camera the other way” – Hey, Is that Yao over there?
‘Guy to right of CP3′ ~ (I have no idea why he’s smiling..)
Teacher: He entered the NBA at the young age of 22, and he has since been selected to start for the Western Conference in the NBA All-Star Game in ALL 7 of his seasons!! Unfortunately..Yao Ming Couldn’t be here today…so here is Chris Paul…
Kids: Awwwwww
now kids if any of you grow to be 7 foot like yao gimme a call new orleans needs you
Bueller?… Bueller?… Bueller?
Damn!! Good thing I memorized Chris Tucker’s moves in Rush Hour, cuz if one of these Chi Men make a move they better Watch out!!
chris paul guns: yo we getting jealous down here, you blocking us with your butt ugly polo, we want to be shown!
chris paul: hold on, you guys, im doing a meeting here, ill rub lotion all over your sexiness later,
guns: you better, or else, im telling the pits you’ve been cheating on them
Chris Paul searches the world for the origin of the one they call Yao Ming.
Chris Paul: Look at my shoe
Chinese kids: It’s Chris Tucker
Guy to the right of CP3: You sure he’s not Kobe? Ok, smile anyway Children.
CP3: I could’ve sworn the name of your guys’ school is tatooed on Marcus Camby’s right arm.. or maybe it was AI…
Disassembling in order to repair a broken foot, Yao Ming reveals his secret to Chris Paul.
CP3: Amazing! You’re just like the Power Rangers or old-school Voltron! Innocent-looking kids who combine to form a gigantic, colossal force of basketball………..simply incredible!
Children: Don’t you have to be tall like Yao or Yi to play basketball?
Chris Paul: No not at all. I came here to tell you guys all it takes is hard work, a pair of Jordan shoes, and a couple of Right Guards so you don’t get cooties.
Children: ewwww cooties!
Teacher: Children! Please say hello to Mr. LeBron James of the Cleveland Cava..
Chris Paul: Excuse me ma’am but I’m Chris Pau..
Teacher: Please Mr. James don’t interrupt me.
Chris Paul: Man i wish i knew kung fu..so i better behave myself
Children: On the count of THREE GET HIM!!!!!!!
Chris Paul: So this is where they’re going to out source my job
Teacher(whispers): he’s on to us!
Damn what’s that funky smell. Ok kids, rule number 1. Remember to always use deodorant! Right Guard baby!
“Hey, that kid looks exactly like me. Now, ain’t this the first time I’ve been to China?”
Naw son, I aint Kobe…What do you mean we all look alike?
Damn! This country smells worse than Peja after double overtime!
‘So I guess I can’t ask them what THEIR favorite food is huh?’
Smile – more than words and one Right Guard
The author of “Where’s Waldo?” just isn’t putting in the effort anymore.
I’d like to thank Dave Chappelle for lending me his sweatshop workers….Now back to work or i’ll burn..your FEET!!!! *tssssss*
We would like to thank CP for lending us his personal chairs he used for those “hard” to reach places around the house.
“Hey, I’m big in China!”
Chris Paul: “Kids you want to play like me, than you gonna have to eat like me. Introducing Chris Paul’s “Supreme Dish”:
# 1 Cup Heavy Cream
# 8 Whole Eggs (cracked and slightly beaten)
# 1/4 Cup of Sugar
# 1 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract
# 2 Dozen Doughnuts (broken in bite size chunks)
# 1 Cup of White Chocolate Chips
Follow this recipe and I promise you’ll be dropping dimes like me in no time.”
doctor’s disclaimer: By using Chris Paul’s “Supreme Dish” you agree to the following terms. Chris Paul is not liable for any weight gain, or unpleasant odors that may arise by using above recipe.
Chris Paul: “Chris Paul and Emeka Okafor are gonna be the NBA’s next “Kobe and Shaq”!”
Chinese Reporters: “…Chris Paul?!?..Eme..?? Wait aren’t you Brett Farve?”
Chris Paul: “…Ummm..no…hey kids when do I get to meet your parents Jon & Kate?”
Kids (with outta synced voices): CP3-ZILLA
Chris Paul: Rrraaaawwwwrrrrr
First Charlotte, then New Orleans, Oklahoma City was next, back to New Orleans now the newest, hottest, freshest destination for the Hornets: an elementary school playground in a small providence of China!!
Meanwhile, roaring cheers are heard nearby as thousands have gathered for welcoming parade in honor of Kobe.
“Class, here is Chris Paul.”
“No, we want the Farmar look-alike in the background!!”
Teacher: Class, this is a very very special basketball player, Chris Paul.
Class: wow~ cool~
One kid: I want to be just like Yao Ming when I grow up.
Chris Paul: That’s awesome kids. Hey Teach~ What’s up with the one empty seat? Is he not back from recess?
Teacher: Oh, that’s actually Wang zhizhi’s kid. He felt sick today.
kids in front row: I thought NBA players were supposed to be tall.
(whispers) i think there are two China men hiding inside that suit.
Chris Paul meets with the Hornet’s front office, which George Shinn outsourced.
Nothing responds to odor faster than Right Gaurd.
No one responds to Mandarin slower than Chris Paul.
“Excuse me Mr. Tucker, when will you film Rush Hour 4 with Jackie Chan?”
Chris: “Haaaaai! Aaaaay aaaaaam Chrrrrriiiiis Paaaaaawl! Niiiiiice tooooo meeeet yoooooo!”
Teacher: Uh…Chris, they’re Chinese, not retarded.
Chris: Hi. Sorry to interrupt your class, but I was on my way to the Great Wall, when I realized I lost the rest of my tour group at the tea house… *Flash bulbs go off* Uh, hi I’m Chris Paul of the New Orleans Hornets.
Chinese officials asked for an NBA player who liked kids, guess who was the RIGHT GUARD for the job?
Chris: “No kids, Dropping Dimes does not mean that Americans a careless with our money…”
Student #1:
Student #2: <”I’m telling you there’s a pop quiz. That’s gotta be the ’special surprise’ Teacher was hinting at all last week.”
Hmm … looks like my use of <’s to indicate talking in chinese didn’t work very well. Student 1 is saying “so why are we skipping class today?”