Please cease from calling Kristaps Porzingis a “Unicorn” immediately. And while you’re at it, throw his “Zinger,” “KP,” “Godzingis,” “KP6” and “Porzingod” sobriquets out the window, too.
He must henceforth be known as “The Lizard.”
Actually, according to him, he’s already known as The Lizard. He dropped this little tidbit while talking to reporters about the ankle injury he suffered during the New York Knicks’ recent win over the Miami Heat. Though he was at first cleared to return, the Knicks opted against it, because they were up by so much, and because while his X-rays were negative, he still needed an MRI.
The results on that MRI came back negative on Thursday, and Porzingis is now day-to-day, per ESPN.com’s Adrian Wojnarowski and Ian Begley:
MRI results negative on Knicks star Kristaps Porzingis’ right ankle today, league sources tell @IanBegley and me. No damage. Porzingis will be day-to-day.
— Adrian Wojnarowski (@wojespn) November 30, 2017
Day-to-day could be mean anything. Porzingis could return for the Knicks’ next game, on Sunday against the Orlando Magic, or time could reveal more swelling or pain in his ankle, causing him to miss a few contests, if not more.
Porzingis, for his part, is betting on an imminent return. Because, again, as he told reporters, people call him The Lizard to properly recognize his self-healing abilities (via theScore’s Chris Walder):
“I hope it’s next game. I hope I can … they call me ‘the lizard’ because I recover so quickly from things,” said Porzingis postgame, via ESPN. “So hopefully it’s nothing too big. I’m going to get treatment, stay on top of this, and hopefully the lizard can be ready for Sunday.”
This is literally the best, most corniest, most awesomest thing ever. And, as a result, I have to wonder: Do people actually call him The Lizard? Or is this just something Porzingis made up because he’s an under-the-radar OG for Dad jokes?
It doesn’t really matter. This remains hysterical either way.
Here’s to Porzingis healing quickly—or to growing another right ankle altogether. Whichever method 7’3″ lizards are using these days.