Dirk Nowitzki is starting to see a pattern.
It’s a pattern you’ve probably noticed, too. A well-documented, oddball pattern—the NBA’s Eastern Conference sucks. Like, it’s really bad. Horrible. Spit-in-your-face disgusting.
Players know it. Teams know it. They have to. There’s no way they can’t. Few have voiced it publicly, though. Save for the Portland Trail Blazers, that is, who formally requested a switch to the Eastern Conference, winning the Internet in the process. Aside from that, there’s not much scuttle.
LeBron James hasn’t come out and said how awful the East is. Nor has he expressed a desire to play in the Western Conference. Kevin Durant and Kobe Bryant aren’t insulting the East’s teams at every turn. It’s like an unspoken agreement…that Nowitzki decided to speak of.
While talking with Yahoo! Sports’ Marc J. Spears, Nowitzki dumped on the Eastern Conference in fantastic fashion:
If you look at the Western Conference, the quality so high. The teams are bunched up right there. We can beat each other every given night. It’s not like the Eastern Conference, where you just roll through.
…
We got to compete every night [in the West], especially if you want to win on the road. You’re going to be in a lot of close ones.
All in favor of putting “it’s not like the Eastern Conference, where you just roll through on t-shirt,” sit there and stare at this screen. Wow, that many? Good.
Nowitzki isn’t speaking in hyperbole. Again, the Eastern Conference is the worst thing ever. As of Dec. 13, two of the East’s teams are over .500—the Miami Heat and Indiana Pacers. Two. Out of 15. Despicable.
Worse still, only three total teams are .500 or better. Add the Atlanta Hawks to Miami and Indiana, and there you have it. Three. Out of 15. Dubya. Tee. Eff.
It’s not like the NBA is five or 10 games through the season either. About a quarter of the 2013-14 campaign is over and done with. By this point, teams are what they are, though the Brooklyn Nets and New York Knicks are hoping that’s not true. Actually, let’s not make that all-encompassing distinction. In most cases, teams are what they are. A few outliers may enter the mix, but that’s it.
Out west, meanwhile, there are nine teams above .500, 11 at .500 or better and 13 at least within one game of .500. The West has been better than the East for quite some time, but this is beyond absurd. Right now, winning 40 percent of your games gets you in the playoffs in the Eastern Conference. Forty freaking percent. The Derrick Rose-less Chicago Bulls are 8-12 and if the postseason started today, they’d be in. True (and sad) story.
For even more perspective, consider the Atlantic Division. The Boston Celtics top it at 10-14. New York, with a record of 6-15, is only 2.5 games back. You know what 6-15 gets you in the West? The second-worst record in the West. Same actually goes for the East. The Knicks have the second-worst record in the conference. Difference is, they’re 2.5 games off a playoff berth while the 6-14 Sacramento Kinngs are 5.5 out in the West. So yeah: East be terrible.
In fact, let’s start making predictions. What’s the over/under on the number of above-.500 teams for the East? How many playoff teams will have sub-.500 records? And will their be a sub-.500 division winner?
Can’t answer any of those questions, can you? Because it’s that bad. Saying five teams will finish above .500 is a stretch. Think of how depressing that is. We cannot even say, without absolute certainty, there will be five teams with a winning record in the entire conference.
This happens when the Eastern Conference was supposed to be good again, too. Five teams were contenders—the Pacers, Heat, Knicks, Nets and Bulls. As it stands, two of those teams are over .500, and only three of them would make the playoffs.
Yikes times infinity.
“But now, the power has shifted back into the Eastern Conference, so we’re ready,” Carmelo Anthony had said back in September, via ESPN New York. “We’re excited about that.”
Little did we all know that a few months later, the prospect of having more than two winning Eastern Conference teams would be something worth getting excited about.
Dan Favale is a firm believer in the three-pointer as well as the notion that defense doesn’t always win championships. His work can be found at Bleacherreport.com in addition to TheHoopDoctors.com. Follow @danfavale on Twitter for his latest posts and all things NBA.
