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Golden State Warriors
Warriors. Are. Good. At. Basketball. |
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San Antonio Spurs
There has been some unrest in San Antonio of late. No, I’m not talking about the losses to Cleveland and Golden State. Those are whatever. I’m talking about Kyle Anderson starting to look like an NBA player. He’s coming for Boris Diaw’s job next season. |
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Oklahoma City Thunder
Can we find a way to get Allen Crabbe to Thunder? I feel like Allen Crabbe has to be on the Thunder. |
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Cleveland Cavaliers
Tyronn Lue has fixed the Cavaliers only six games into his tenure as head coach!
Well that, or the Cavaliers are just doing what David Blatt wanted them to do along—in which chase WHO THE HELL CARES TYRONN LUE HAS FIXED THE CAVS. |
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Toronto Raptors
The people deserve a Cavaliers-Raptors Eastern Conference Finals, if only because there isn’t another team, aside from maybe the Celtics, who could maybe, quite possibly, if they’re lucky, hang with Cleveland for a seven-game series. |
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Los Angeles Clippers
Check it:
Hawks Get: PG Trey Burke, SG Alec Burks, PF David Leeand 2016 first-round pick (via Brooklyn Nets)
Celtics Get: PF Blake Griffin and SG Lance Stephenson
Clippers Get: SG Avery Bradley, PF Paul Millsap, PF/C Kelly Olynyk and 2016 first-round pick (via Dallas Mavericks)
Jazz Get: PG Terry Rozier, SG Thabo Sefolosha and PG Jeff Teague
I have changed your life forever.
You’re welcome. |
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Boston Celtics
So the Celtics are bordering on elite without a true superstar and aren’t a mirage. Imagine what they could be if they flipped some assets for a megastud before the trade deadline. |
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Atlanta Hawks
The Hawks’ defensive rating is officially way better than their offensive rating, which scares the shit out of me—in a bad way. |
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Memphis Grizzlies
I mean…Here’s the thing…What’s happening is…Fuck it, I don’t know what’s going on. |
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Detroit Pistons
All these games later and, aside from Andre Drummond-Reggie Jackson pick-and-rolls, it’s still painful to watch the Pistons offense. |
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Houston Rockets
Clint Capela-Dwight Howard frontcourt lineups make me sad. I think I love spacing too much. |
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Indiana Pacers
Myles Turner is the TRUTH. No, not Paul Pierce. Turner is just really good. The Pacers, on the other hand, could be headed for another lottery appearance. |
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Portland Trail Blazers
Before the season, I predicted the Blazers would win 22 games and finish last in they’re division. They have already won 24 tilts and are second in the Northwest sector. I expect to receive my termination papers any day now. |
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Chicago Bulls
Sad Bulls offense is sad. |
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Dallas Mavericks
At some point the Mavericks offense will fix itself, right? RIGHT?
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Miami heat
Miss you, Tyler Johnson. |
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Utah Jazz
Utah ranks second in defensive efficiency since the return of Derrick Favors, according to NBA.com. Go figure. |
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Sacramento Kings
Who plays faster than the Kings?
Nobody.
No, seriously, they rank first in possessions used per 48 minutes, championing a frenetic pace that can be, at times, difficult to follow. |
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Charlotte Hornets
Michael Kidd-Gilchrist is back on the court, way ahead of schedule. If I’m the NBA, I immediately test to see if he’s, you know, an actual human life form. |
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Washington Wizards
Think Kevin Durant will tell the Wizards before the trade deadline there’s no chance in hell he’s signing with them, this way they can start the process of moving on from that pipe dream and fixing their underachieving roster, or nah? |
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New York Knicks
Watching the Knicks is beyond frustrating. They’re a defensive turnstile, and it’s becoming increasingly clear that the offense—triangle, square, trapezoid, whatever—would look like absolute shit without Carmelo Anthony. |
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Denver Nuggets
Head coach Mike Malone is high on Nikola Jokic—so much so that he wouldn’t trade the rookie center for anyone, and he pretended not to remember the names of Kristaps Porzingis or Karl-Anthony Towns.
True story. |
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New Orleans Pelicans
Update: Still want to see more Toney Douglas-Jrue Holiday backcourt lineups. |
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Orlando Magic
With the playoffs fast becoming an unobtainable goal, I’d like to see the Magic experiment with Aaron Gordon at center and Tobias Harris at the 4. Surrounding them with two shooters and Victor Oladipo, not Elfrid Payton, feels like it could make for a deadly all-everything combination. |
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Milwaukee Bucks
Milwaukee’s four other starters with Greg Monroe, according to NBA.com: minus-6.1 points per 100 possessions.
Milwaukee’s four other starters with John Henson: plus-29.3 points per 100 possessions.
Food for thought. |
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Philadelphia 76ers
There’s something I need to get off my chest: I’m over Ish Smith. Please don’t hate me. |
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Brooklyn Nets
If the Nets’ pick that the Celtics own turns into Ben Simmons, Brooklyn should be relegated. |
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Minnesota Timberwolves
This is what happens when you lose to the Lakers. |
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Los Angeles Lakers
Either every single one of Byron Scott’s sound bites are delivered out of context, or the Lakers’ head honcho is seriously, troublingly, wholly out of touch with reality. |
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Phoenix Suns
Shoutout to the Suns for firing Jeff Hornacek, even though he, along with Devin Booker and Eric Bledsoe, was one of the only good things they had going for them. |
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