Hassan Whiteside is the master of giving himself really corny nicknames.
The Miami Heat big man has most notably referred to himself as “Agent Block,” a play on, well, we don’t really know. Maybe Gilbert Arenas’ longtime moniker, “Agent Zero.” And if that’s the angle, color me confused. And if there’s another angle, color me misinformed.
Anyhow, Whiteside has a new nickname for himself, because why wouldn’t he have a new nickname for himself?
Per Jason Lieser of The Palm Beach Post:
Whiteside: "I wasn't Agent Block today. I was Count Blockula."
Winslow: "He's getting out of control."
— Jason Lieser (@JasonLieser) April 6, 2016
Oh boy. Count Blockula. Wow.
In Whiteside’s defense, he went for 14 points, 12 rebounds and four blocks in the Heat’s Tuesday night victory over the Detroit Pistons.
In our defense, these nicknames, as Justise Winslow indicated, are getting a little out of hand. They’re too corny to stick. Plus, people, including athletes, shouldn’t be authoring their own sobriquets.
If Whiteside wants to hire someone to come up with a nickname, or if he wants to Twitter-source the masses, that works. Coining himself Agent Block and Count Blockula and whatever other identifiers he’s issued just doesn’t.
