Friday 26th April 2024,

NBA Power Rankings: Cavs Are Struggling, Rockets Are Oh My God-ing

admin November 5, 2014 Blogs No Comments

You guys. It wasn’t a dream. The NBA is still back.

Shhh. Stop fist-pumping and -bumping and -twerking so loudly. You might scare the regular season away.

There. That’s better.

The first week of the 2014-15 season was crazy. There were plenty of exciting games, and even more devastating injuries. There were surprise wins, and there were predictable losses. There was a whole lot of James Harden. There was just as much of the Sacramento Kings. It was a good week, a bad week, a quirky week.

And the time has come for some perspective.

Like any power rankings piece this early in the season, jumps and declines are going to be insane. Bear with us. It will start to stabilize as the weeks and months wear on—so long as you live outside Oklahoma City.

Until then, embrace the league-wide tumult, and all the meteoric rises and shameless free falls that go with it, all while using these rankings to make sense of a sample size so small, Thumbelina herself could swallow it whole.

*Welcome back to The Hoop Doctors’ PG-13 NBA Power Rankings, where almost anything goes. Language may sometimes not be suitable for those reading at work, in which case I recommend you don’t read these aloud or you get a new job. Like most PG-13 movies, we’ll permit one F-bomb per post. Those devoid of a sense of humor need not proceed.

***For a week by week list of all our NBA Power Rankings this season, please visit this page.

NBA Power Rankings

1

Houston Rockets

There are no words. Except wow. And oh my god. And holy James Harden.

Last Week (11)

2

Golden State Warriors

Sweet Jesus the Warriors are scary. Not only are they winning, their offense has barely cracked the surface of its potential.

Last Week (4)

3

Memphis Grizzlies

Marc Gasol everything seems to be working for the Grizzlies.

Last Week (8)

4

San Antonio Spurs

A .500 start is no reason to panic. It just means the Spurs are well-rested.

Last Week (1)

5

Dallas Mavericks

Full disclosure: Was pretty low on this team coming in.

Equally important: Sometimes, I’m a sucker for stupidity.

Last Week (6)

6

Los Angeles Clippers

Passive Chris Paul is with us at the moment. He’s passing like crazy, but come on, shoot the ball.

Last Week (3)

7

Chicago Bulls

Thus far the Bulls have been predictably weird. They’re battling injuries and still finding ways to win. Typical.

Last Week (5)

8

Miami Heat

Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade have been playing well. Put your optimistic goggles on. Start wearing your please-don’t-let-a-lack-of-depth-and-injuries-ruin-this-team-by-December socks, too.

Last Week (17)

9

Phoenix Suns

Triple-point guard lineups are the bestest.

Last Week (13)

10

Sacramento Kings

Okay…I mean…well…shit. This can’t last……………….Right?

Last Week (26)

11

Washington Wizards

Impressive start for the Wizards. Top-10 offense and defense…without Bradley Beal.

WHAT?!?!?

Last Week (14)

12

Toronto Raptors

Have a feeling the Raptors will vacillate in and out of the top 10 all season. Prepare for some turbulence.

Last Week (9)

13

Portland Trail Blazers

That win over the Cavaliers was huge, if only because the Blazers were tracking toward a power rankings free fall.

Last Week (10)

14

New Orleans Pelicans

Anthony Davis tallied 24 points, 13 rebounds, two assists, one steal and three blocks against the Hornets. This is to say, Anthony Davis had an off night against the Hornets.

Last Week (16)

15

Cleveland Cavaliers

Consider this a good-faith ranking. The Cavs aren’t playing well, but we’ve seen flashes of what their offense can be and OH MY GOD IT’S SO PURDY.

Last Week (2)

16

New York Knicks

Middling offense. Horrible defense. Tim Hardaway Jr. Keep mistaking the Triangle for a Squircle.

Last Week (19)

17

Atlanta Hawks

Waiting for the Hawks offense to explode. Said eruption should take place any day now.

Last Week (15)

18

Brooklyn Nets

Basically, I’m punishing the Nets for that loss to Boston. Even so, Joe Johnson is playing like the All-Star he was but shouldn’t have been last season.

Last Week (20)

19

Denver Nuggets

Soooooooo, the Nuggets’ offense has been awful. Their defense has been pretty good. And yes, none of this makes sense.

Last Week (18)

20

Minnesota Timberwolves

Ricky Rubio is $56 million richer and wants to say hi:

Last Week (22)

21

Boson Celtics

Rajon Rondo looked really good during the Celtics’ season-opener. Since then, not so much.

Last Week (27)

22

Oklahoma City Thunder

In defense of last week’s ranking: I didn’t foresee STI-infested fate fucking over the Thunder sans contraception.

Last Week (7)

23

Charlotte Hornets

Sure, they call themselves the Hornets. But early on, it feels like watching the Bobcats.

Last Week (12)

24

Utah Jazz

The Jazz’s offense is all kinds of fun. Their defense is all kinds of imaginary.

Last Week (25)

25

Milwaukee Bucks

Jason Kidd would like to move on to the Mikhail-Prokhorov-testicle-punching portion of the season.

Last Week (28)

26

Indiana Pacers

This offense has been better than expected. But it’s still bad. Probably going to get worse, too.

Last Week (24)

27

Detroit Pistons

If the Pistons remain a train wreck, I want props for not being surprised that they remained a train wreck.

Last Week (21)

28

Los Angeles Lakers

On the bright side, the Lakers are shooting more threes than Byron Scott initially predicted. On the not-so-bright side, they still have no one (healthy) capable of making said threes.