Ring in 2014 with some glazed donut face ass.
What, you don’t know what that is? Seriously? Carmelo Anthony, do you believe these peeps? Totally not aware of glazed donut face asses, which are all the rave this holiday season? I’m ashamed of the human race right now.
For those of you who do know, my apologies for the explanation. Those of you who don’t know listen up, because I’m about to drop some hot buckets of knowledge.
Glazed donut face ass is can be a delicacy typically enjoyed at breakfast or dessert, an unfortunate medical condition, much like spicy lobster toe nipple or in the case of Anthony, a glorious insult earmarked for social media.
Hours before 2014 officially began, one disgruntled Knicks fan expressed his displeasure with the team following a rather innocent tweet from Anthony.
Here’s what Anthony said:
Happy New Years Eve! Start the year off right with a pair of pre-release M10s #MELOGIVEAWAYS #NYEDanceOff http://t.co/CGW64OR15C
— Carmelo Anthony (@carmeloanthony) December 31, 2013
It was then followed by this:
@carmeloanthony how about you win a ring you fucking kill me man rooting for you all the fucking time annd you always disappoint me
— A.B (@__Kingsleyy5) December 31, 2013
Yikes. Someone definitely isn’t happy with the state of Orange and Blue basketball, and he’s most definitely not alone.
But Anthony obviously took exception to what was said because 1) we can only imagine frustrations from New York’s 9-21 start are beginning to boil over and 2) this criticism was unprovoked. Wasn’t like ‘Melo tweeted “Happy New Year! Here’s hoping I look good in Purple and Gold” or “Happy New Year! Here’s to even more losing in 2014 #knickstape #imisschrissmith #knicksfanssuck.”
Had he said anything like that, then I would’ve expected insults comprising multiple F-bombs to roll in. But what he actually wrote didn’t warrant that kind of profanity-laced retort. So ‘Melo responded the only way he knew how: combining the power over of sugar-coated pastries and butt cracks.
@__Kingsleyy5 I didn't ask for your glazed donut face ass to root for me anyway!!!!
— Carmelo Anthony (@carmeloanthony) December 31, 2013
We probably shouldn’t love this, but we most definitely do. Kudos to Anthony for providing us with an end-of-year game-changer, a tweet that should be considered for Tweet of the Year. After all, you deserve some serious dap when you make J.R. Smith laugh his ass off barely a day after the Knicks betrayed him (though not really) by waiving his younger brother Chris:
Lmfao RT @carmeloanthony: @__Kingsleyy5 I didn't ask for your glazed donut face ass to root for me anyway!!!!
— JR Smith (@TheRealJRSmith) December 31, 2013
With over 4 million followers, you’d expect Anthony to be used to stuff like this by now. Fans aren’t very coy or restrained on the Internet. Every time LeBron James posts an Instagram picture, be it of his kids or honeymoon or something like that, his responses are littered with angry threats. It’s an unfortunate part of NBA players’ jobs.
But don’t mess with ‘Melo. Not on New Year’s Eve. And not when his Knicks are struggling and his ankle swollen. He
will burn you for millions of eyes to see.
Keep that in mind next time you’re thinking about calling him out on Twitter. Say the wrong thing, and you run the risk of ‘Melo calling you a steak quesadilla nostril pudenda.
Dan Favale is a firm believer in the three-pointer as well as the notion that defense doesn’t always win championships. His musings can be found at Bleacherreport.com in addition to TheHoopDoctors.com. Follow @danfavale on Twitter for his latest posts and all things NBA.
