Golden State Warriors

Well, duh.

Moving on…

Last Week (1)

So, these work in progress Spurs are, by net rating, off to the fifth-best start of the Tim Duncan era, per Basketball-Reference.

Last Week (2)

Sure, the Eastern Conference might be better. And yes, Cleveland is still shorthanded. But, as the standings show, the Cavaliers are still the team to beat—and, as the standings will also show, that’s no easy task.

Last Week (3)

“Miami is sooooooooo overrated.” -Me, over the offseason.

“Shit, I’m dumb.” -Me, right now.

Last Week (5)

Three words: Kevin Durant back.

Two more words: Bring it.

Last Week (10)

Indiana Pacers

Um…See…The thing is…What Indy’s doing is…Screw it, I don’t know. No one could have seen this coming, but the Pacers are weathering injuries and owning an average schedule. Go figure.

Last Week (14)

Boston Celtics

As the Celtics’ schedule gets tougher, their placement will drop, perhaps plunging. For now, bask in the impressive glory that is Boston’s balancing act.

Last Week (8)

Atlanta Hawks

Kent Bazemore is making people forget about DeMarre Carroll. Now all the Hawks need to do is, collectively, play good basketball more than every other game.

Last Week (6)

JAVALE MCGEE IS BACK ALERT.

Last Week (9)

Chicago Bulls

At this point, we’re all in agreement that the Bulls need to get their hands on a starting point guard not named Derrick Rose, right?

Last Week (7)

Pretty please, with sugar on top, don’t make me watch the Jazz’s offense ever again.

Last Week (11)

The Raptors are winning games with their defense, just like we all predicted.*

*No one really predicted that.

Last Week (13)

Charlotte Hornets

Credit the Hornets with changing their identity on a whim. They’re shooting threes now, and it’s working.

Last Week (16)

Washington Wizards

Every time I think the Wizards are about to turn that corner, becoming an elite team on both ends of the gym, I talk myself out of it.

Last Week (19)

New York Knicks

Derek Fisher’s rotations are infuriatingly bad. That is all.

Last Week (18)

During the Suns’ loss to the Spurs on Monday night, it all started to make sense: They need Eric Bledsoe to be healthy.

Last Week (12)

Los Angeles Clippers

HOLY FREAKING SHIT THE CLIPPERS ARE IMPLODING AND I THINK IT’S IN LARGE PART BECAUSE THEY BLEW A 23-POINT LEAD AGAINST THE WARRIORS WHAT DO I DO WITH MY HANDS I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY HANDS SOMEBODY HELP.

Last Week (4)

Memphis Grizzliess

Is there a “The Grizzlies need to trade Tony Allen” bandwagon? If so, is it taking new passengers?

Last Week (15)

Minnesota Timberwolves

Adreian Payne’s shot selection makes the Jazz’s offense look like a cohesive ball of fire.

Last Week (21)

Detroit Pistons

If someone could just tell Stan Van Gundy he needs to trot out the Kentavious Caldwell-Pope, Andre Drummond, Reggie Jackson, Stanley Johnson and Marcus Morris lineup more, that would be swell.

Last Week (17)

Portland Trail Blazers

Meyers Leonard is almost back! Everybody dance!

Last Week (26)

Orlando Magic

The more I watch the way that the Magic are using Tobias Harris, the more I’m convinced they handed him $64 million just to trade him later.

Last Week (22)

Denver Nuggets

Will Barton hero ball is a thing in Denver—not a good thing, to be clear, but still a thing.

Last Week (24)

Sacramento Kings

Rajon Rondo is back to flirting with triple-doubles every night. So, there’s that.

Last Week (23)

Milwaukee Bucks

Greg Monroe has not helped the Bucks’ crappy offense but has visibly changed the way they’re defending. His shoddy rim protection doesn’t allow them to run as many traps, and the Bucks are in turn less effective overall. A playoff berth is starting to feel like a reach.

Last Week (20)

New Orleans Pelicans

Anthony Davis is breathing life into the Pelicans, much to the dismay of Ben Simmons enthusiasts who are based in New Orleans.

Last Week (13)

Houston Rockets

“Oh, maybe Kevin McHale wasn’t the problem.” -People who are only now just getting it.

Last Week (25)

Hey! It turns out the Nets aren’t the worst team in basketball after all.

Last Week (29)

Los Angeles Lakers

The more I watch Ben Simmons, the more Kobe Bryant’s shot selection makes sense.

Last Week (27)

If the Sixers are looking to go 0-for-Christmas, they’re right on schedule.

Last Week (30)