Oh, Dwight.
All of us have our vices. Mine’s eating pizza rolls in excess. I diet—without portioning—week by week, rarely succumbing to candy and fast-food cravings. But then I’ll go out, or be up super late for some reason or another, and stuff myself silly with pepperoni pizza rolls whilst watching TV, sometimes falling asleep with the plate, always waking up ashamed and filled with regret.
Other bad habits aren’t so trivial. Take Dwight Howard of the Houston Rockets. According to TMZ, Howard’s Florida license has been suspended because he’s addicted to running red lights:
Dwight Howard might be color blind — ’cause officials in Florida say he ran 10 RED LIGHTS in 2-and-a-half years — and now his license has been suspended … TMZ Sports has learned.
According to official records, the NBA superstar was captured by those red light cameras in Orange County, FL over and over again … starting in 2012, when he was busted 9 times in 10 months.
Then, after a year-and-a-half without a violation, Howard struck again in 2014 — blowing through another red light on July 1st … his 10th overall infraction.
Officials from the Orange County Clerk of Courts tell us … Howard’s license can be reinstated if he pays a $285 fine.
We’re guessing he can afford it.
Is this real life? Or is it maybe The Onion, masquerading as TMZ’s source and fooling us all 87 ways toward next Sunday?
Turns out this is real life, per Barbara Liston of Reuters, who offers some additional information:
Howard, who played for the NBA’s Orlando Magic from 2004 to 2012, racked up 10 tickets for running red lights while in the Orlando area.
He also has on his Orlando court record four speeding tickets, 12 citations for failing to pay highway tolls and one for failing to change his address on his license, all civil traffic infractions.
The 28-year-old, five-time NBA rebounding leader resolved all the traffic cases except for the last, a $285 fine for running a red light in April in Winter Park, Florida. Court records show his license has been suspended since at least Aug. 15.
So he has a paying-tolls problem, too? Cool.
This is both hysterical and not funny at all.
It must suck knowing not even your traffic violations remain private. I’ll give Howard that. There’s also nothing about him drinking and driving, or driving while impaired at all. That’s another good thing.
At the same time, if you’re careless enough to rack up this many red light tickets, your right to any and all secrecy should be revoked and burned in front of you.
How many red lights did Howard actually have to run for him to accumulate 10 tickets anyway? Cameras don’t ding you every time, so there were definitely more than 10 occurrences in which he sped through red.
And let’s not forget about lights that don’t yet have cameras. There are plenty of those around. If Howard was “busted” nine times in 10 months, it’s safe to assume he blew through at least three times as many red lights total. That, again, is absurd. Wonder how many he ran while in Los Angeles. Wonder how many he’s disregarded since arriving in Houston.
Moral of this quirky, insurance-policy-premium-inflating story: Drive carefully when Dwight Howard calls the same city or state home.
Drive carefully, Houston.
Drive carefully, all of Texas.
Dan Favale is a firm believer in the three-pointer as well as the notion that defense doesn’t always win championships. His musings can be found at Bleacherreport.com in addition to TheHoopDoctors.com.
