Metta World Peace Predicts Lakers Will Reach Finals

Luck for us, then, that he has no problem using words of his own. While we may be at a loss for them, he never is. Ever. And such was the case at a signing for his children’s book “Metta’s Bedtime Stories,” where he predicted that the Los Angeles Lakers were going to reach the NBA Finals.

“I think the Lakers are going to go to the NBA Finals,” he said, as quoted by ESPN New York’s Mike Mazzeo.

Come again? The Lakers? Reach the NBA Finals? Next year? Funny. And cruel. And confusing.

Los Angeles limped into the playoffs last season, and that was with World Peace and Dwight Howard on the docket. Injuries plagued the entire team all last year, but few will argue that the Lakers are actually better now than they were in 2012-13. Their two best defenders—World Peace and Howard—are donning different jerseys and, most importantly, Kobe Bryant is battling his way back from a torn Achilles.

Rest assured, that doesn’t change World Peace’s prediction. Questionable depth and injuries be damned, he thinks Pau Gasol and Kobe are going to take Los Angeles back to the finals:

I think Kobe [Bryant’s] gonna be healthy, they’re gonna get Pau [Gasol]. The Lakers are gonna make a big trade like they always do. They’re gonna get another good player, boom, boom, and they’re gonna go to the Finals. I believe it. Kobe’s gonna come back, he’s gonna play team ball, and Pau’s gonna play well.

There comes a point when you have to wonder if World Peace is kidding, and we’ve officially reached it. Now a member of the New York Knicks, this should be a time for him to predict the world for his team, not his former home. Join J.R. Smith in prematurely crowning the Knicks NBA champs. Partake in the war of words the Knicks are engaged in with the Brooklyn Nets. Teach Mike Woodson how to dougie. Just do anything other than make bold predictions for the organization that amnestied you. Anything.

The Lakers aren’t going to reach the finals; it’s just not going to happen. Kobe could return, true to the Black Mamba’s style, and duplicate his performance from last year. Steve Nash could rain down threes and assists. Gasol could play like the Gasol of 2010. Mike D’Antoni could coach the Lakers toward a top-five offensive finish. They could do all that, and they’ll still fall short.

As currently constructed, the West is too deep. Los Angeles may surprise some people en route to a postseason berth, but it could also find itself lottery bound. There are just too many questions to ask at this point, none of which inquire about the Lakers’ ability to contend for more than a playoff appearance.

Could a big trade change everything? Perhaps, but the Lakers aren’t flush with valuable assets. Or cap space. Nor do they figure to do anything that jeopardizes their future financial flexibility next summer. More likely than anything else, they’ll fight through next season as is, with both eyes fixated on the summer of 2014 and all the star power available. World Peace’s prediction, meanwhile, will go up in flames.

“I just want apple pie,” he said when asked to elaborate on the Knicks-Nets rivalry. “I don’t feel like talking.”

That may be a first—his refusal to talk, I mean. Not his sudden, out-of-the-blue, completely irrelevant apple pie cravings.