5 Reasons The Lockout Has Ruined My Life

1. I Have to Watch Football

Watching a football game is much like mysterious, romantical experiences — it’s more fun if you’re not alone and you’re a tad inebriated. Save for the silky smooth baritone of Verne Lundquist telling me about how Alabama is the greatest team in the history of sport, there’s not much football that’s palatable to watch. My Dolphins are going to be awful and my Ducks are three rented cars and stolen iPod away from another Toilet Bowl scenario. Does that equivocate the entirety of the sport as a loss? I think so.
 

2. I’m Spending Time on Facebook

I have less than 40 friends on Facebook, all people I know and talk to regularly and have no need to actually interact with over an electronic medium. I’d pretty much relegated my account to the back of my closet along with my Gigapet and Sock ’em Boppers but I now find myself logging in quite often to see what the rest of the non-NBA world is up to. I missed one cousin moving cross-country, a friend eating shit off a bike so hard you’d think she got jumped and one friend who has become a legit music journalist. I’m biding my time but until the NBA players finally cave. For now, Facebook is my best source for electronic social entertainment.

3. My Twitter Stream is Awful

Now when I say my Twitter stream, I don’t mean my personal one. My personal Twitter stream is awesome. I mean all my fellow NBA blogosphere people have gone off the deep end. Tweets about Insane Clown Posse, Project Runway and cell phone mergers have dominated where insightful commentary and blatant bias was once the norm. Meanwhile, a friend in Charlotte seemingly mutters to himself about the Bobcats as if they were on the court and weren’t the Bobcats but a team that actually mattered. The only one that’s kept it together is Sebastian Pruiti, who probably lives in some kind of basement apartment with a Minority Report-esque interface that streams Euroleague games, stats of incoming high school freshmen prospects and a daily log of what Eddy Curry had for lunch.

4. My Budding Career Has Stalled

The world was my oyster during the NBA Finals. Writing for my own site, The Hoop Doctors and Dime, I was rolling in ideas and opinions for articles, stories etc. Now I’m sitting here twiddling my thumbs as my big idea board fills up with nothing but looks at retiring players and ludicrous “what if” fluff pieces. What if Grant Hill never got hurt? What if Steve Nash never was traded from the Mavs? What if Portland had taken MJ? What if Shawn Kemp hadn’t eaten all those Krispy Kremes? Do you see where this is going?
 

5. I Have to Find Other Hobbies

Actually, most of my hobbies only fuel the fire that is my lust for the NBA during the lockout. On my lunches I meander to the local thrift stores and make insane purchases. In the last 60 days I’ve bought two shoeboxes full of basketball cards and my jersey collection has grown to include Steve Nash, Grant Hill (Dream Team), Scottie Pippen (Portland), Zach Randolph (Portland) and Damon Stoudamire (Portland). Except I’m not Turtle from Entourage — I don’t think “home whites” is appropriate for my Tuesday morning trek to the office. I don’t wear basketball jerseys. Really what this means is that I’ve began starting up different projects, including a motorcycling site that has absolutely — I mean seriously zero — crossover demographic between my two media spheres. I’ve began reading again (all NBA books) and I’ve never felt the urge to exercise more. I don’t do it of course, but wow is that urge strong.

When the lockout ends I’ll be glad because most of these problems will wash away. In the meantime, I have to sift through the broken pieces of my life in a world where I can’t watch professionals play the sport I love. How many days are in a season? Wait, don’t tell me. I don’t want to make “crying uncontrollably” one of my pastimes.