Friday 29th March 2024,
The Hoop Doctors

NBA Power Rankings: So, the Golden State Warriors Are Still Amazing

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It has to suck playing in the NBA’s Western Conference.

Unless you’re the Warriors or Spurs. Then it’s probably pretty chill.

For those other 13 squads? Yeah, it sucks. Especially for the good-to-great contingents. The Clippers. The Thunder. The Mavericks, too. They scrap and they claw and they win, and yet no matter what they do, they’ll always be miles behind the Warriors and Spurs, two of the best teams in history.

Just as franchises are starting to plan their rebuild around Golden State’s reign, knowing full well San Antonio may never leave the championship stratosphere, others will start to realize their pursuit of a title is superficial—hopeless in its attempt to be anything more than a footnote beneath the Warriors’ and Spurs’ dominance.

This rings true even for those in the Eastern Conference, including the Cavaliers. Any team hoping to win a championship will have to go through one of the Warriors or Spurs. It’s inevitable. And there isn’t yet a team, not in Cleveland or Oklahoma City or anywhere else, that’s shown it can beat either of those factions four times in seven tries.

Thus, this week, we once again pay succinct homage to Golden State and San Antonio, two teams ruining the title aspirations of the Association’s remaining 28.

***For a week by week list of all our NBA Power Rankings this season, please visit this page.

NBA Power Rankings

1

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Golden State Warriors

I had a dream that the Warriors dropped out of the top spot. Then I woke up, and promptly smacked myself silly as punishment for such inexplicable dreaming.

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2

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San Antonio Spurs

Here’s what you need to know: Boban Marjanovic has a higher PER than Stephen Curry, and the Spurs are still really good.

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3

Cleveland Cavaliers

Now that Kyrie Irving is back, the Cavaliers have essentially secured their ticket to the NBA Finals…in mid-January. Is that good? I feel like it’s good.

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Last Week (3)

4

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Los Angeles Clippers

Just when you thought the Clippers defense and bench, along with Blake Griffin’s durability, had betrayed them beyond repair, they start playing like a top-five team.

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Last Week (4)

5

Oklahoma City Thunder

Kevin Durant still sometimes doesn’t get featured down the stretch of close games. This seems problematic.

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Last Week (8)

6

Atlanta Hawks

Look at these Hawks, flying under the radar, still within striking distance of a 50 victories and a top-two playoff seed.

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Last Week (6)

7

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Toronto Raptors

In the last All-Star returns, DeMarre Carroll, who is now expected to miss six to eight weeks, had collected more votes than Paul Millsap.

Touche, Toronto.

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Last Week (11)

8

Chicago Bulls

Head coach Fred Hoiberg has struggled to find minutes for Nikola Mirotic at the 4, and it shows. It’s only going to get more difficult with Joakim Noah back from his shoulder injury. The Bulls, in summation, need to make a trade or two.

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Last Week (5)

9

Indiana Pacers

Will the real Indiana Pacers please stand up?

No?

Um, OK, we’ll just sit here in the dark and wait then.

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Last Week (9)

10

Miami Heat

The Heat are playing uninspired basketball of late—the kind that makes you wonder if they’ve peaked, which was always a colossal caveat with this roster.

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Last Week (7)

11

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Dallas Mavericks

Zaza Pachulia is the second-best player on a top-five Western Conference squad.

Think about that.

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Last Week (12)

12

Detroit Pistons

Until the Pistons piece together a viable NBA bench, their up-and-down season will continue. Fortunately for them, that should be enough to get them into the playoffs.

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Last Week (13)

13

Boston Celtics

The Celtics offense implodes when Isaiah Thomas isn’t on the floor. They need more shooting, and perhaps, at this point, a superstar to push them over the edge.

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Last Week (10)

14

Rox

Houston Rockets

The Rockets’ climb back to above-.500 basketball is almost complete. We just have to see if this time, unlike last time, they’ll rise above .500 and never look back.

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Last Week (14)

15

New York Knicks

Update: The Knicks still lead the league in “OH MY GOD THIS TEAM COULD BE GREAT BUT IT COULD ALSO SUCK SOMETHING AWFUL WELL MAYBE IT’S JUST MEDIOCRE” proclamations.

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Last Week (18)

16

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Orlando Magic

I am simultaneously high and low on the Magic’s postseason stock. This, naturally, makes no sense, and I have no explanation. Orlando’s defense is just too hot-and-cold, and its offense is too cold-cold-cold-hot-cold-cold-cold.

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Last Week (16)

17

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Washington Wizards

Here come the Wizards. Sort of. Their defense appears to be stabilizing; Otto Porter is shooting better; and some wins are starting to accumulate.

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Last Week (17)

18

Memphis Grizzlies

The Grizzlies are the only above-.500 team with a negative net rating.

WUT.

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Last Week (20)

19

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Utah Jazz

Why does Lady Luck hate the Jazz?

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Last Week (19)

20

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Charlotte Hornets

Injuries have slowed down the Hornets after an incredibly impressive start. Well that, and the’re also regressing to the mean after said unsustainably impressive start.

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Last Week (14)

21

Sacramento Kings

With nearly half the season in the books, the Kings are only two games back of their first playoff berth in 10 years. I fully expect them to get backcrap aggressive ahead of the Feb. 18 trade deadline and go all-in on grabbing that first-round exit.

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Last Week (22)

22

Portland Trail Blazers

Damian Lillard has half of a Steph Curry gene.

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Last Week (21)

23

Denver Nuggets

Talk about your frontcourt logjams. If the Nuggets are fully invested in Nikola Jokic, Joffrey Lauvergne and Jusuf Nurkic, they’ll need to start fielding trade offers for Danilo Gallinari and Kenneth Faried.

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Last Week (23)

24

Milwaukee Bucks

Last season the Bucks ranked fourth in points allowed per 100 possessions. This season they’re 29th. Greg Monroe isn’t at the heart of their defensive lapses, but I can’t help wonder if they might be better off trading him.

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Last Week (26)

25

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New Orleans Pelicans

Remember when we thought the Pelicans were knocking on the door to the Western Conference’s elite-team cafeteria?

That was funny.

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26

Los Angeles Lakers

There’s something poetically fitting about the Lakers admitting they’ve given up on winning until Kobe Bryant leaves.

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Last Week (24)

27

Minnesota Timberwolves

This might be a tad over the top, but whenever I watch the Timberwolves’ shot selection, I typically vomit uncontrollably.

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Last Week (27)

28

Philadelphia 76ers

HOLY CRAP THE SIXERS ARE RISING NOT ONLY ARE THEY NOT DEAD LAST BUT THEY’RE NOT EVEN SECOND TO DEAD LAST ALL HAIL ISH SMITH WHAT DO I DO WITH MY HANDS I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY HANDS.

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Last Week (29)

29

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Brooklyn Nets

After canning Lionel Hollins and reassigning Billy King, Mikhail Prokhorov hopes that the Nets can be contenders again next season.

LOL.

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Last Week (28)

30

Phoenix Suns

Are Ben Simmons Suns jerseys a thing yet?

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Last Week (30)

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