Golden State Warriors

Real prediction that is really real: The Warriors are unreal, and because they’re so unreal, no one will displace them from the No. 1 slot all season.

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The Cavaliers already have a stronghold on the Eastern Conference throne, and they’re still playing without Kyrie Irving and Iman Shumpert. Hot damn.

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Even though the Spurs don’t look nearly as dominant as they should, and probably will, two, three and four months from now, they’re already contending for one of the Western Conference’s two best records. As the saying goes: Spurs gonna Spurs.

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Without Chris Paul, the Clippers offense would be ____.

Acceptable answers include: bad; really bad; really, really ridiculously bad; and totally, wholly, completely and utterly fucked.

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Oh, hey, the Hawks will just be chilling over here, with a top-five offense, winning games like losing DeMarre Carroll ain’t no thang.

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Oklahoma City Thunder

This is only because the Thunder’s five-man combination of Kevin Durant, Serge Ibaka, Enes Kanter, Dion Waiters and Russell Westbrook has, against most outside perception, been an absolutely terror.

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Detroit Pistons

There’s a chance the Pistons don’t belong this high now, and they almost certainly won’t place here indefinitely, but damn, they’re carving out victories. They have the East’s third-best record yet have played the league’s second-toughest schedule. Go figure.

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Houston Rockets

After four straight victories, it looks like there’s life in Houston after all.

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As far as title contention goes, the Heat are a collective maybe. But the early returns are mostly good, and if Dwyane Wade stays this healthy all year, they’ll have a chance to do something special. Also: The defense, at least for now, is coming together quite nicely.

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Chicago Bulls

Somewhat surprisingly, it’s the Bulls offense, not the defense, that has struggled under head coach Fred Hoiberg. Not surprisingly, I’m still inclined to blame Tom Thibodeau. Consider this top-10 ranking a gift.

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The Jazz are playing elite opponents tight, and their stingy defense from the latter part of last season was no mirage. So long has Rudy Gobert never, ever, ever, ever gets hurt again, they’ll be fine.

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Three straight losses catapulted the Raptors outside of the top 10, but they’ve still never been more balanced and, for now, are scary on both ends of the floor.

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Portland Trail Blazers

Even though the Blazers’ run of playoff-level basketball will prove temporary, they are gradually, and definitely, reminding us that we don’t know shit.

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New York Knicks

I’m feeling pretty damn good about my decision to predict a playoff berth for these Knicks. I’d even put them higher after their win over Toronto if it wasn’t for the fact that the offense cannot yet be trusted.

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Minnesota Timberwolves

Karl-Anthony Towns, a rookie, is playing like an All-Star; Andrew Wiggins looks as if he’s finally ready to unleash the beast and never look back; the defense is real; and Ricky Rubio’s hair game is strong.

And by the way: Consider this a second reminder that we don’t know shit.

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This just in: Paul George is still good.

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Boston Celtics

Maybe I was wrong to think the Celtics would win almost 50 games (I was). Nevertheless, their defense is daunting, and they remain a scrappy bunch with enough depth to remain a fixture in the East’s playoff discussion.

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Washington Wizards

Through their first seven games, the Wizards rank in the bottom seven of offensive and defensive efficiency. This is still no time to panic, but, ya know, we’re getting there.

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Phoenix Suns

Here’s to the Suns holding strong as either the ninth- or 10th-best team in the West once more.

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Dallas Mavericks

It looks like Dallas will be too good to keeps its top-seven protected pick, but too bad to make the playoffs. Fun times.

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Milwaukee Bucks

My word, the Bucks have been disappointing. Their offense is mediocre, which is an upgrade over last season, but their defense is B-R-O-K-E-N.

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Memphis Grizzlies

Scary but inevitable thought: The Grizzlies’ days of flirting with title contention around this core are over.

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Charlotte Hornets

Credit the Hornets for reinventing themselves. Without Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, they’re now an offensive team, and they’re trotting out one of the 10 best attacks in the league.

Is that enough to keep them in the playoff conversation all year? No.

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Denver Nuggets

Emmanuel Mudiay is the real freaking deal.

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Orlando Magic

Good lord this team is fun. Maybe too fun. I can’t help but wonder if Tobias Harris trade rumors will be a thing by January.

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Sacramento Kings

DeMarcus Cousins being healthy should help the Kings climb out of the gutter. But we’re still in for another season that sees them struggle to win 30 games.

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New Orleans Pelicans

Injuries are hurting the Pelicans. The years-long impulse they’ve had to rush their rebuild around Anthony Davis, though, is what’s killing them.

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Still trying to figure out if the Lakers are actually blissfully unaware of how crappy they are, or if general manager Mitch Kupchak is sly enough to deliberately assemble a team this bad so that Los Angeles can keeps its top-three protected pick.

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Philadelphia 76ers

Sixers fans are now divided into two contingents: Those who trust the process, and those who want to see the process burn.

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Poison for thought: The Nets might finish with the worst record in the NBA only to send their first-round pick, wherever it lies, to Boston.

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