While it may be a case of bad timing with news of former #1 overall pick Greg Oden going down with yet another serious knee injury, the notoriously funny site The Onion.com was at it again poking fun at just how fragile the Portland Trailblazer center has been over his 3 year career.
In their defense, the article actually ran just days prior to Oden’s latest injury, which will force him to miss the entire ‘10-’11 season. In fact, the former NCAA All American has played in only 82 games in his 3+ seasons in the Association with career averages of 9.4 ppg, 7.3 rebs, and 1.4 blocks. This season, the Blazers were anxiously awaiting the season debut of the dominating big man who was still recovering from a fractured patella sustained last December.
In the article, Andre Miller, Brandon Roy, LaMarcus Aldridge, and Nicolas Batum were dribbling and passing a basketball in the vicinity of Oden when an errant pass defected off of Roy’s fingertips accidentally struck Oden in the shoulder, literally shattering the big man into thousands of pieces.
In a funny quote from leading scorer Brandoy Roy:
“Coach said to always be careful around Greg, because Greg costs a lot and even the slightest amount of basketball can damage him”
The piece also went on to state that the players considered replacing the shattered Oden with Marcus Camby or Hall of Famer Robert Parish, but reluctantly agreed that coach Nate McMillan would definitely know the difference. 2nd year forward Dante Cunningham thought he had a good suggestion of replacing Oden with now retired Shawn Bradley, but instead was immediately told to “just leave.”
In the end, Marcus Camby had the best solution when he says:
“I have a friend who plays for the Celtics, and he said Shaq’s body shatters all the time,” Camby said. “So the plan is, the next time that happens, he’ll gather the extra body parts we need and send them to us. We have time. It’s not like Greg was going to be playing basketball soon, anyway.”
Funny stuff, even if it is horribly bad or good timing depending on how you look at it. Head on over to the Onion.com to check out the entire Greg Oden shattering piece. Even disappointed Blazers fans have to get a chuckle out of it.
Allen Moll has been a lifelong NBA and NCAA College Basketball fan who watches and studies games religiously, and coaches youth basketball in his native Lehigh Valley region of Pennsylvania. Allen also provides content to Bleacherreport.com, Upperdeckblog.com, in addition to being a tenured NBA and NCAA columnist for TheHoopDoctors.com.